Ruminations

I have one week before my deadline, and I am at 70%, so praise the Lord! I know He has all things in His hands, and it is possible that I can go as scheduled! The office at Carlisle will determine if I have "enough" raised to go. If I have enough, I will be able to leave on August 23 for Holland, where I will attend GO (Global Orientation) conference. If I don't have enough, they will probably just have me come straight to Carlisle when I am fully supported and send me to the next GO conference in January.

I am so excited, nervous, scared...lots of different emotions! I am excited that I can finally move on to what could be the start of a career. I am excited to be using my creativity and artistic skills to help tell people about Jesus. I am so glad that I will not be dealing with the general public. I'm a receptionist at a Doctor's Office right now, and, while I am thankful for the job in a time when many people are out of work, it is not my cup of tea. I am nervous...will I make it there ok? Will I get along with my flatmate(s)? Will I make any friends???

I'm scared that the funding will come in slower than I want. I'm scared that my visa will get denied, or I'll get there and they won't let me in for some strange reason. I'm scared that I'll get there and be rubbish as a graphic artist and they'll be sorry that they invited me to come.

But that is just the enemy. He is telling me that I'm rubbish, that everything will fall apart, that God will somehow fail me. And I know those are all lies, especially the last part. I know my God, and I know He never fails! Even if things don't go the way I plan or want them to (which they probably won't!), that doesn't mean that God has failed me. His plans are more perfect and complete than mine. If my visa gets denied or some other crazy thing happens, it doesn't mean that He has failed, it means that He must have a reason for it all, even if I don't know what it is.

Because I know that "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) I love God. He is calling me to this. It will work out for the best!